Chronicles of an Insane Intern (Episode 5)


Just in case you missed the previous episodes, read them there.


Dear Shola,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been promoted to a new Position, as Personal Assistant to the CEO. This appointment is effective immediately.

All emoluments at par with the new position will be communicated shortly. Kindly stop by the HR Department to pick up your new ID card.

Accept our congratulations.


Yours Faithfully,

Freelance Incorporated.


This was sounding so surreal. Was I dreaming? My eyes were wide with shock and surprise. I slapped myself and pinched at my thigh just to be sure I was still conscious. This is a whole new level of spectacle. I couldn’t still believe it. I stared at the letter again and again… Is this really happening? I looked round and couldn’t see anyone in the office, now I was sure I was in dreamland.

This was in absolute contrast with all the events that has happened over the past few days and to think that I came into the office this morning praying not to be fired, only to come and meet this!

I didn’t know whether to scream or shout! I looked up and saw my colleagues, Shade Williams, Bukola Adeyemi, Chris, Tope, Oby, Uzo, Dan and all the others walking towards my table. This was really true. This is really happening!

All one and hundred and one emotions I had bottled up inside decided it was time to escape, so I let out a loud YEEEEEEESSSSS! And a large tear escaped my eyelids and rolled down my cheeks.  It was all too overwhelming.

What’s the matter, Shola? Everyone was asking. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t even utter a word. I just handed them the letter. Amidst teary eyes, I could see shock, envy and jealousy flash across their faces as they passed the letter from one person to the other. Nobody saw this coming.

We knew the new CEO would need a P.A, but we  had all concluded that it would be Bukola Adeyemi, she was the best among us, there was no doubt about that. Some of my colleagues were grumbling in the background and I strained to figure out what they were saying, but I couldn’t. Each one of them managed to mumble a shaky “Congrats Shola” as they all walked back to their seats except Bukola, who said, “This isn’t fair”. Well, this wasn’t my doing. I didn’t ask for this.

Dan and Uzo stayed with me, shook my hands and hugged me several times, all the while re-enforcing the need for me to celebrate this promotion. They suggested The Place on Isaac John Street or Yellow Chilli on Joel Ogunnaike. I told them we will definitely celebrate this.

My other colleagues were all in clusters chattering away, I couldn’t hear them but I was sure the headline of their discussion was “Shola and the Shocking Promotion”. Well, they should. If I was in their shoes, I would do the same. Some of them have been in this company far longer than I have been, completed more projects and some may have even run an escort service for the HR Manager.  (I don’t know this for a fact though, this is mere speculation). Many felt it was their birthright, others felt they deserved it and here was I. The Insane Intern is the new PA. Ah Ah! Splendid!

It’s been a really remarkable day, I finally got myself together and was trying to walk across to Bukola who seats close to the water dispenser at the far end of the floor and try to smooth things out with her, as it was very obvious she was the most hurt person in the room. Halfway through the hall, I saw the HR Manager, Mr. Sam coming down the stairs and he motioned at me to come over. I turned round and walked up the stairs with him to his office.

How are you doing?

I’m fine, sir.

I heard you came in late today.

I’m sorry sir. The traffic was very bad sir.

Anyways, I hope you have seen your letter.

Yes I have sir.

Let me just tell you that I wasn’t thinking about you for this position at all. In fact, I had already picked my candidate for the position, but the new CEO requested specifically for you. I still don’t know why and I am keen to find out. What did you do?

Honestly sir, I am still shocked myself. Because we had a minor altercation yesterday and I also somehow ended up coming in late today, so I wasn’t expecting this at all. 

You had a minor altercation with her?? I will need to know more about this, but not right now as I have to attend a meeting. This is your new ID card. Congrats anyway.

Thank you sir.

I could see the look of disdain in his eyes as he walked out of the office. Life can be really cruel sometimes, so many people not happy with your progress. Well, it’s my time! It’s my season! I am going to enjoy every moment of this regardless of what anybody says or feels. I threw my shoulders back, kept a smiling face and walked in confident strides back to my floor.

As I was walking down the stairs, the new CEO was stepping into the office. She was super gorgeous as usual. Her glowing yellow dress and royal blue shoes were just stunning and adorable. I was too busy with my current line of thought that I didn’t see the table right in front of me until I ran into it and hit my thigh against the side. Ouuuuch! I rubbed my hands on it and tried to conceal the throbbing pain I was feeling.

She came closer… Shola, pls go and home and pack your bags, we are going to Abuja and our flight leaves by 3pm. See you at the airport. The new CEO said as she sauntered past me into her office.

Ok. Ma. This was happening all too fast. I went back to my seat in a hurry, picked up my laptop bag and headed back home. I definitely have to go and do a thanksgiving in church on Sunday. I got home and packed a few things, I had recently bought a new Loius Vuitton luggage bag and this was the right time to “launch” it.

I called Baba Monsurat, the taxi man who lives two houses away from mine with two wives and nine children. Most times, he comes late but luckily for me this time he was right on time. I put my luggage in the boot and relaxed on the back seat as we headed to the airport.

As I sat there, it finally dawned on me that all what was happening was real and I was already on my first official assignment as the new P.A. This was just a trip to Abuja, Yes! But I knew it wouldn’t be long, before there will be a trip to Dubai, followed by a trip to the UK. I hit the roof of the taxi in joy as my emotions got the better of me and Baba Monsurat stole a glance backwards to see if all was well. You can’t blame me for my frenzy. I was ecstatic!

We arrived at the MM1 Airport by 2:34pm, I pulled my luggage from the boot and gave it to one of the porters, many of them scrambling to get their hands on several people’s luggage at the same time and started walking towards the departure hall. I had no idea what we were going to do in Abuja and I just hoped the new CEO would fill me in on the flight. I looked forward to what would happen on the trip and played out many insane scenarios in my head. I was going to tell the porter to give me my bag, when a black Mercedes Benz SUV drove in and blocked my view, the back door opened and ..


To be continued……


2 Comments Add yours

  1. mooonlight says:

    hmmm…to be continued since 18 days ago? Please we are still waiting…

    1. AY says:

      I know that it’s long overdue. Work will not let me… But I promise you, it will be up soon.

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